The Heat of the Moment
by NYCSVULOVE
Summary: E/O oneshots.
1. Story one: No Matter What

**A/N: Thought it would be a good idea to make a story of one shots since I have so many circling my brain at this hour :) I'll try to update it as much as I can because I won't lie...one shots are my guilty pleasure. I've rated it M just to be safe, not all stories will be sexually explicit. Pretty, pretty please leave a review and follow or favorite so I know that people like it so far. Thank you lovelies ;) **

**SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and friends.**

* * *

_No Matter What_

_(Takes place in 1st season) _

It was extremely late late, probably past one. Elliot didn't notice, nor did he care. All he was focusing on right now was the blurry, gray video being streamed live in front of him from a tiny camera hidden safely in Olivia's small diamond incrusted ring. Their were two men, both large and greasy looking, sitting next to two blonde women about Olivia's age, 34 in a secluded booth. To be honest, Elliot wasn't so much concerned with the women and sex traffickers he was supposed to be focused on. All of his attention was aimed purely at the safety of Olivia Benson, who was posing as a normal women, tending the bar where this sex trafficking meeting was being held.

Munch on the other hand was actually paying attention to the important factor of the operation, unlike Elliot. He rolled his eyes as he saw the worried and focused expression on Elliot's face which he knew wasn't coming from where it was supposed to. He heard the the conversation clearly coming from the two men along with the blondes who both had hispanic accents.

"Don't we look beautiful tonight darling?," A heavyset white man, Gabriel, was muttering to the smaller of the blondes, lust consuming his voice as he caressed his face with his thick fingers. The woman put on the perfect act of need as she melted against his touch and moaned sexily. From what John could see, her well-manicured hand was sliding up and down his thigh, undoubtedly tempting him.

"Hmmm, I think I would look even more beautiful, if perhaps I had nothing on," She whispered in a low, sultry voice as she continued her teasing actions on him. Gabriel grinned wickedly as one of his hands reached between the woman's legs and she let out another sexy moan.

"God, hurry the fuck up," Elliot murmured to Munch's left as he scrubbed his hands down his face. Munch knew he was frustrated, probably even more than he was. In order for them to collar the two men, they needed cold, hard proof of the scandal that was being held tonight. They knew for a fact, from a undisclosed source, that an exchange would be happening tonight. Three men, all white, would be coming to Dick's Pub tonight paying the two sex traffickers, known as Miguel and Gabriel, for full use and control of the two blonde women. With any luck which was certainly on their side tonight, Olivia would be able to capture the whole deal on the hidden camera and they could collar all four men and get the two women to safety.

John had to admit so far that Olivia was doing extremely well for a newbie. Sure she'd been with the unit around five years, but still she hadn't gotten assigned any undercover work, not like this.

"It'll be over soon, Stabler," Munch whispered to the resentful, younger detective as his eyes remained glued to the two hispanics practically having sex on screen. It was a sick, disgusting sight, but it would almost certainly be over in a matter of minutes.

Olivia shifted at her position in the bar. The black, leather, nee-high boots she was wearing were literally killing her feet. Besides the shoes, the irritating fishnet stockings, tight red dress that was just shy of revealing her thong, and pushup bra were enough to make her almost scream at the top of her lungs. Never had Olivia Benson ever felt like a prostitute before, but tonight, yeah that was different. She felt like a complete and utter whore just by the outfit. Just as she was about to ponder the fact that she was doing absolutely nothing but laying her hand on the counter, the ring facing the four people, and pretending to be watching the basketball game on the television across from the bar, the front door of the bar creaked open and three men walked in. They were all caucasian and rich-looking; their hair gelled back complete with ironed, new suits. They had cocky, slightly creepy, smirks on their faces and Olivia immediately had no doubt in her mind that they were the men that were making the deal tonight.

"Good evening," Gabriel said as he stood to great the three men who had walked in, extending his hand politely. The three of them each shook the man's hand, talking happily at how they expected the most out of him from his high reputation in the business.

"I'm a bit parched," A dark haired men stated, his eyes snapping over to where Olivia was watching out of the corner of her eye.

"I'll order you something, Mr. Vendetti," Miguel said with a fake smile as he snapped his fingers at Olivia. It took all of Olivia's might to saunter sexily over to the seven of them to take their orders, trying not to look suspicious, just like the slut she was playing.

"What can I get for you?," Olivia asked with the same fake grin that Miguel had on earlier, that was used only to please customers. The dark haired man tapped his chin and didn't bother hiding his wandering green eyes as they drank in the sight of Olivia's curvy body in the skin tight, red dress that made her tan skin stand out against the dim light of the pub.

"How about a nice, cold scotch," Vendetti said, leaning slightly forward, getting a little to close for Olivia's comfort to her breasts.

"I'll get that for you right away," Olivia responded, not letting his lack of personal space affect her act in any way. As she turned to go and retrive the drink, the man spoke.

"How about I accompany you to the bar, Miss...?" Shit. Olivia hadn't gone over a name with Cragen. To be honest, none of them thought that it was necessary. In the heat of the moment, Olivia thought of the sluttiest name she could come up with.

"Candy. Miss Candy." A smirk brushed over the Vendetti's face. But this wasn't an amused smirk, this was a lustful smirk.

"All right, Miss Candy," He said standing up and brushing his pants, "I'll accompany you." Olivia wanted to face palm herself. Why now? Why did the first ever undercover operation she did have to be so complicated? Why couldn't she just point her diamond ring at the creeps seated at the table and wait for them to pay off the traffickers? This was just her luck, but of course, their was very rarely ever luck on the job... especially this job.

"It would be my pleasure," Olivia responded flirtatiously as she led the way to the bar, making sure to sway her ass as she was expected to do by those pigs. Of course, putting on the perfect act of a sexy, horny bartender wouldn't make the deal happen any faster, but it would sure as hell make the men feel in their comfort zone which was important for no turbulence or disasters to occur.

"So, Miss Candy," Vendetti said in a smooth, buttery voice as he sat down on a bar stool, "exactly how old are you? You couldn't be more than 29, maybe even 28." Olivia laughed in a low and mysterious tone and began to fill a glass up with ice cubes.

"Only 34," She responded catching his eye and biting her lip for the extra affect of innocence. Vendetti chuckled deeply and Olivia began to fill up the cup with the dark, amber liquid. Once more she felt his eyes burning holes into various parts of her body as he drank in the sight of her. She slid the scotch across to him when she was done and made sure to brush his hand provocatively.

"You know, Miss Candy," He said taking a sip of his scotch, "it would really please me if you could come and have a seat with me." Olivia knew this was going slightly to far, but she might have to go with it. From here his body was almost completely blocking the view of the six other people talking at the booth. Maybe it she nonchalantly placed her hand on his shoulder as she made teasing small talk with him, she could get a better view of them. So she walked confidently out of the nook of the bar and took a seat beside him, sliding her hand over the soft fabric of his sleeves.

"So what may your name be?," Olivia asked looking at him with her big, brown eyes that she knew must look stunningly sexy, especially since she spent nearly an hour getting all her makeup right. She had been determined not to screw this up and so far it was going better than she had expected.

"Adam." He took another swig of his scotch.

"And what did you come here to do, Mr. Adam?," Olivia purred massaging the back of his shoulders with her fingers, gently. Vendetti smirked.

"I came here to fuck those two beautiful women over there, but now I'm having second thoughts." For a moment confusion befuddled Olivia's mind, but in an instant she knew immediately what he had meant. But her realization was far too late. In an instant Vendetti's hands strong arms had slammed her down onto the floor, her head smashing painfully against the hardwood floors. She could see from her angle that the two women looked slightly uncomfortable, but the men were grinningly sadistically down at her. Without even looking around Olivia knew that there were no other people in Dick's Pub. Cragen had made sure to have no other citizens enter the premises. How he managed to do that, Olivia had no idea. She also knew that it would only be a matter of moments before Elliot and Munch crashed through the doors and tackled Vendetti to the ground. Before she knew what was happening Vendetti swung his leg over stomach and pinned her wrists above her head with one hand, another traveling to his pocket, as Olivia screamed at the top of her lungs and writhed beneath him. In a beat she felt a cold, metal barral pressing against her temple and the cold chuckle that escaped Vendetti's mouth as he proceeded in tearing her dress from her body. Her screams had been reduced to pathetic whimpers and her struggle became a feeble shaking motion as Vendetti leaned in to suckle the sensitive flesh of her neck as he began to dry hump her. God he wasn't even inside of her and she had never felt more violated in her life.

"Tell daddy that you like it," Vendetti moaned. Where were they?! "Tell him that you want him in your tight, little pussy." Where the fuck were they?! A crash and Elliot's angry voice answered her question.

"NYPD, DROP THE GUN!" Vendetti looked up, clearly startled. Olivia could see, from her obstructed view, Elliot and Munch, both of their guns pointed squarely at Vendetti who looked like a deer in headlights. It seemed like hours but it was only seconds before the sick bastard climbed off of Liv and stood, his gun still pointed right at the exposed detective on the floor.

"Turn over." He spoke in a calm, smooth voice, the same way it had been back before he had gone all psycho on her. Olivia immediately obliged and flipped over, with as little movement as possible, onto her stomach. She felt her heart pounding against her rib cage, almost violently and it hurt.

"Drop the gun." This time it was Munch who spoke in the same demanding tone as Elliot, although he sounded much more calm than her partner had.

"I don't think so," Vendetti said. Even though Olivia could only see a glimpse of the two of her fellow detectives in front of her, she knew that Vendetti had the same arrogant grin on his face like he had before.

"Come on, we can work something out, just put the gun on the floor and no one has to get hurt," Munch said. Olivia heard Vendetti chuckle as she silently pleaded for him to please just listen to Detective John Munch for once and just please, please drop the gun before her head got blown off.

"I have a feeling you're going to arrest me if I do," Vendetti said, his weight shifting slightly from above her, "and we wouldn't want that now would we?" Olivia heard a loud bang and she bit her lip, hard, to fight back the scream as she felt sharp shards of glass and sticky, cold liquid cascading over her body. Vendetti must have shot the glass of brandy.

"What do you want?," Elliot's voice was cold, but much more composed than it had been minutes before.

"I wanted to fuck Miss Candy _hard_, but you have obviously prevented that from happening."

"Okay, okay, look if you just drop the gun and have Miss Candy confirm that it was all a part of role play, we will gladly let you two proceed in your night. Isn't that right Miss Candy?," Munch asked, his act nearly perfect. Olivia nodded, not trusting herself to speak in fear that she would break down in tears. Olivia knew that Vendetti was weighing the options.

"Okay." With that final word, Vendetti dropped the gun with a clatter to the ground and was instantly thrown on the ground by Elliot. Olivia only heard the undisguisable sound of Elliot's fists hitting Vendetti's flesh and Munch telling him soothingly to calm down. Olivia only felt happiness, sheer happiness that she was going to make it out of this relatively unharmed. She didn't even care that she was still laying facedown, half naked, on a filthy floor that smelled disgusting. It took her a moment to pull herself up and cover herself with her arms, looking for her ruined dress that had been flung by Vendetti into the corner of the room. She saw Munch hauling Vendetti out in cuffs outside. Before he was completely gone he nodded to her with a faint smile as if to say, "you did good, kid," like he would on any other occasion. Elliot was already on the job of covering Olivia's unconcealed body as he shrugged his NYPD jacket off of his shoulders, placed it around, and zipped it up before she knew what had happened. She knew that jacket was much better than the dress because it came down to right above her knees and it was warm with his body heat. Olivia wanted to thank him, but she still didn't trust herself to speak without loosing it completely. She knew in the bottom of her heart either way that sooner or later she was going to break down into tears. Elliot seemed to sense that too and without warning he wrapped his arms tightly around his partner and cradled her to his chest.

* * *

It was around two hours later and Elliot was laying in the crib, thinking about how close he was to losing his partner. It was the first time he'd actually been placed in a situation where he felt his heart pounding out of control at the look of pure and utter terror plastered on Olivia's face as Vendetti pointed the gun at her skull without mercy. It scared him. It scared him way more than he let on. If Olivia weren't being interviewed by a physiatrist at the moment, Elliot would undoubtedly have her in his arms. He knew that she had put up a hell of a fight against Cragen, explaining as calmly as she could that she was fine, but he had brought her forward into the present saying more bluntly than Elliot thought necessary, "You've been assaulted, Olivia, for god sakes." Elliot had whispered to her a moment later to meet him in the crib after she was finished with the one on one interview. He really didn't give a shit how long it took as long as he got to see her and make sure that she was okay, unscathed. Emotionally she was obviously going to be going through a lot, but he could help her through that. Physically, Elliot knew he was just plain lucky to still have her on earth.

"El?," Her voice rang out through the shadows as the door creaked open and she hesitantly walked in.

"Liv," Elliot breathed, jumping up from his comfortable position and nearly dashing over to her as he took her in his arms. He was grateful when Olivia hugged him back, her hands curling around his back, pressing him close to her. She still smelled like the mellow scent scotch and when he pressed his cheek against her neck, it was sticky with the substance. "I thought I was going to lose you." He heard Olivia sniffle and for a moment Elliot contemplated kissing away her tears that were obviously falling from her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes. But he knew he couldn't do that. It would just confuse her more.

"I-I'm sorry," Olivia mutterred as she took heaving breaths, trying to steady her erratic breathing, "I didn't mean t-to scare you." Elliot pulled himself away from her, allowing his hands to rest on the soft curves of her hips. He cupped her cheek softy and thumbed away to tears that were falling. In an instant he was close to her, his forehead touching hers, his nose brushing against hers, as he kissed to little, salty beads of water away.

"Don't you dare apologize, honey," Elliot whispered to her softly as he brushed his lips delicately over her temple. It was only a few beats later when Olivia pulled gently away from him to glance for a moment into his deep blue eyes filled with love and concern. Then her lips were on his. She didn't care that he was married, nor that they were partners. All she cared about right now was the overwhelming feeling of love the both of them had burning in the depths of their souls. His mouth parted allowing her full acces to explore him, to have full control of the situation. Her tongue slid softly against his and he felt himself harden almost the moment she had touched his lips.

A few short moments later, Elliot hoisted Olivia up, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist as he carried them to a bed where he lay her down, not daring to part from her tongue that tasted and felt so good. Elliot pressed himself against Olivia's stomach as she continued to map out his mouth. With one swift movement of his tongue he was now inside of her mouth, running his tongue once over her bottom lip. Olivia moaned and Elliot felt her hands traveling down his waist to his belt buckle and a tugging motion that drove him insane.

"Oh god Liv," He groaned at he took a panted breath. With that the two began undressing each other. He pulled down the NYPD sweatpants that had been pulled out of a closet and unzipped his jacket, tossing them onto the floor along with his belt which Olivia had removed in record time. He saw her hardened nipples, even beneath the thick fabric of her sexy, lace bra and it took him almost no time for him to unhook it a throw in on the floor along with the other articles of clothing. Elliot's mouth immediately wrapped around one of her nipples, tugging softly on the pebbled pink flesh. Olivia sighed contently as her nails raked across his back painfully. He knew he was causing her so much pleasure and that made him even more eager to get inside of her and show her how much he really and truly loved her. His mouth moved to the other sensitive flesh of her breast and his hand inadvertently began moving down to where her thong was, concealing...well almost nothing.

"Please, El," Olivia groaned lightly biting the skin on his neck to keep herself from crying out.

"Oh, Liv," Elliot soothed caressing her cheek gently, "don't beg me, love." Within a minute, Elliot's pants were gone from his body as was Olivia's thong, and he was poking at her entrance, nearly losing control at the meer sight of her, waiting for him with her mouth open and wet and her fingers rolling over her breasts.

"Are you sure?," Elliot asked one last time before they made the biggest action of their lives come true. Olivia looked up at him and smiled coyly.

"Of course," She responded, her hand reaching up to smooth his cheek. Elliot pushed inside of her, unable to stand the anticipation anymore. They both gasped and clawed at each other's skin, attaching their lips once more. He began moving back and fourth gently, forming a protective cage around her body as he held her against him. Their bodies were in complete harmony; Olivia rocked back and fourth and Elliot thrusted soothingly. It was when he felt her tightening around him, that he began to go harder than he thought he should have. But he got the completely opposite reaction than he was expecting. Her back was arching and little beads of sweat began breaking out over her forehead as she panted wanting more and more. Elliot felt himself starting to release and he let his hand travel down to her swollen clit to give her even more pleasure. An unnatural scream erupted from somewhere deep in Olivia's throat.

"Oh fuck, El!" He slumped over exhausted, on top of her. Both of them were sweaty and sticky. Olivia still smelled like scotch, but Elliot didn't care. All he cared about was that she was finally safe. He didn't think he would ever go home to his wife ever again after tonight. He was in love, but this was stronger than he ever thought possible and the thought of prying himself away from Olivia made him tighten his tender grip around her shoulders.

"I love you, Elliot," Olivia murmured, her eyes sliding shut.

"I love you too, baby girl," Elliot whispered, making a vow to himself that he would never leave her side. No matter what.


	2. Story Two: Bells

**A/N: I thought up this one in November as a nice christmas story I could post when the time came. I completely forgot about it, so I'm posting it now! Hope you all enjoy it and pretty, pretty leave a review! It'll make my day :^) **

**There is some smut in this chapter, but there may be more in our next one shot :) **

**BTW I wrote this while listening to Scala's version of Creep by Radiohead, please, please go check out their music. They are truly lovely and beautiful covers! Literally eargasms galore ;) **

**P.S.- I will continue putting what season it takes place in to avoid any confusion. **

**SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and friends. **

* * *

_Bells_

(takes place in season 8; after Liv gets back from Oregon)

The air was cold around her. It would have made Olivia feel the slightest more comfortable had the air around her been blustery, alas the air was dead calm; to calm for her comfort. Maybe it was the seemingly endless years on the violent and destructive job, but she had always preferred dangerous and unrestrained situations. Olivia felt a few snow flakes land on the bare skin of her arm and immediately melt. She should've been covered up by something to keep the inching hypothermia away from her exposed body, but Olivia neglected to do so. Her coat lay forgotten in the precinct where she had been only a few short minutes ago, alone. Everyone else was at home on Christmas Eve, she knew that. They were perhaps ripping open gifts with their children or at least enjoying being solitary and on their own without the burden of having a partner. Olivia wasn't planning on doing either of those things. She didn't have anyone to love, but she didn't like that feeling. Olivia could only dream of what it would be like to have someone to hug and cuddle during the cold winter nights such as this, someone she could have children with.

So here she was now, taking a stroll in roughly four inches of snow without a warm coat on, without anyone holding her hand, and without a care in the world. Olivia honestly didn't know what she was doing right now; not at that very instant, more of what she was doing with her life. The day she got back from Oregon and saw the look on Elliot's face when he saw her for the first time in months shook her up in the slightest. He was mad, she was sure of that much. What scared her a lot was the fact that she wasn't sure what he was feeling. Usually, Olivia could tell exactly what he was thinking. They had been partners for more than eight years for god sake's, that was the least she could do. Except now was different. Perhaps she had been gone to long or he had changed over the course of when she was away, but Olivia couldn't seem to get any kind of emotion out of him. He was a brick wall. And that wasn't the Elliot Stabler _she_ knew. To others, strangers, he was a brick wall. But now she was a stranger.

"Olivia?" Her name rang out in the restful midnight air by a voice she knew too well. _His_ voice. Olivia whirled around causing snow to seep even more into the crappy converse she still had from when she was undercover. He was standing there, looking tired, but even more noticeable to her, he didn't look angry. On the contrary he looked relieved.

"El, what're you-" He cut her off.

"I love you, Olivia." Elliot's voice was strong and firm as he spoke those words, even a spark of determination could've been present, Olivia wasn't sure. Her brain didn't seem to be working right then, having someone say those words that hadn't been spoken to her in almost a decade. It shocked her more that it was coming from someone whom she would never expect to say it to her, but it was also this someone who she craved love from the minute they began working together. There was an eerie silence as she mulled over the words he'd just clearly announced.

"I don't really care what you're thinking right now," Elliot pointed out, "you can just tell me you know, Liv." She wasn't sure what to say. God, the humiliation of admitting to him of a soul deep love that began the day their eyes locked almost made her turn around and walk away. Except he just told her that, so she kinda owed him. But still...everything was a blur of confusion so she made the choice she wasn't sure she would regret or not.

"I love you too," Olivia whispered, "I-I just don't know why you're telling me this now, uhm, Elliot...?" She paused waiting for him to give some sort of clear indication as to why he was saying this. Nobody could have suddenly died in her family since she had none and he wasn't the kind of guy to give out pity love to people who were alone on Christmas. If he wanted to he could be at home with his kids and Kathy, even though they were over. They were still family after all.

"Because I missed you Olivia," Elliot's voice had been reduced to a whisper, almost as if to match up with hers, "It seemed like you were gone for so long. It made me realize how dependent I was on you." He moved closer to her until he was pressed flush against her body. "My partner was coldhearted and just mean compared to you. You had that huge heart, Liv, that made me so passionate for this job. Without you I... I just couldn't do it." The skin on Elliot's rough hand brushed her face sending goosebumps sprouting out all over her skin. Elliot's deep, blue eyes seemed to be burning into hers as the white puffs of their breath floated around them.

Olivia finally found her voice when she realized it took two to tango. She found relief though, in knowing he still trusted her. He still had faith in her. "Elliot, I was alone in somewhere so crazy-so unknown to anyone. I missed you so much too. I couldn't stand the fact that you were getting someone else to work with," Olivia's voice shook slightly at the thought of having to leave again and having to go through so much more anger and confusion, "but I'm here now."

"You are here." Elliot's low rumble was soft and soothing to her ears and she felt her eyes slip shut as his other hand slipped around her neck and pulled her gently closer to him. "And I'm so damn thankful for that." And then his lips were on hers. Elliot's lips were chapped and prickly against her own smooth ones, but something about that made her even more eager knowing that it had to be her partner holding them together. His rough lips were the proof and extra push Olivia needed to slip her hands around his waist and take part in the process. Her tongue was eager as it sought out his, slipping through his lips and into his mouth, not even hesitating when she brushed against Elliot's own tongue. A moan escaped Elliot's throat as she continued to explore him. His hands proceeding in tangling themselves in her straight chestnut hair as he back them up against the wall outside some bar. Elliot took no time in hoisting her legs up around his waist so that he could get even closer to her. Even through two pairs of jeans he could feel the heat of her desire building up.

"I love you so fuckin' much, Liv," Elliot whispered in a breathless, panted voice, "you honestly," He paused to suckle to sensitive skin of her neck, "have no clue," he pressed his lips against hers once more, "what the hell," he buried his mouth in her chest, "you do to me." Elliot surfaced and Olivia felt his hands reaching to the smooth skin of her back to unhook her bra. He lifted her shirt up over her head and discarded it on the snowy ground along with her bra. To be entirely honest Olivia gave no shits whatsoever. She wouldn't even care if someone walked by. Hell, they could marvel and take pictures if they wanted. All she wanted was to be with Elliot and that was what she was getting.

Elliot ran his tongue over one of her hardened, pink buds and felt her writhe on him, pressing her center against his growing length, restrained by his jeans.

"Jesus, El," Olivia moaned, "I want you to make love to me, right here, right now." Elliot chuckled as he savored the pebbled, sensitive flesh of her breasts, his hands roaming down to cup her butt and run over her lower back.

"Livvy, I don't think that's such a good idea," Elliot laughed, letting go of her breast to look into her eyes. "I want to be somewhere where I can savor every minute of being inside of you, where I can lavish you from head to toe and make sure I kiss you everywhere." He felt himself nibble her neck hungrily.

"Let's go then," Olivia wiggled her hips causing a moan to escape Elliot.

"God, you know I'm giving myself a pat on the back for telling you how I felt, finally, and especially tonight," Elliot admitted shyly. Olivia laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him the opportunity to bury his face in her chest once more.

"Hmmm, I'm so glad you did too," Olivia murmured as she felt his tongue run along the top of her breasts, "How long have you...ya know...had feelings?" She felt like a bit of an idiot for asking him. Olivia felt like she was fourteen again asking some boy she liked about his small crush on her.

"Since the minute I laid eyes on you," Elliot replied without hesitation, "You were this beautiful angel I'd only dreamed about. That plus the badass attitude towards the bad guys made me fall for you, head over heels. What about you, love?"

"I realized it around two years ago. You were the longest relationship I'd ever had with a man, but I'm pretty sure it started when I met you too."

"I regret telling you sooner though," Elliot said, his head raising to look into her eyes once more, "I would've saved us the trouble of eight years of suppressed feelings." Olivia laughed and pressed a kiss against his stubbly cheek.

"That's the past, El," She muttered as she slid down from him and picked up her soaking wet bra and top. Not that she minded at all. Elliot couldn't conceal the laugh that escaped his throat. Before she knew what he was doing, he slipped his NYPD sweatshirt over his head and gently put it on her, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Olivia smiled up at him as he twined their fingers together.

As they walked in the freezing cold, holding hands they began to hear the bells of the church ringing as the clock struck midnight. The sound was beautiful and peaceful. Yes, Olivia usually didn't like peace, but now was different, now she was close to someone who had stirred up her life in a matter of short, hot minutes and she liked that. Having the bells ringing an extraordinary sound in the distance made her feel calm, yet so incredibly alive. Those bells gave her the slightest bit of hope that now she had something to live for, Elliot. Sure, life was shitty, but with him it seemed electrifying and exciting.

"Merry Christmas, Benson," Elliot whispered as he lay a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Stabler," Olivia squeezed his hands with only the beautiful sound bells ringing in the distance to be heard.


	3. Story Three: I Dreamed a Dream

**A/N: Okay, you may know that I'm not the type to make really deep emotional stories except for ripped at the seams, but I'll update that soon :) But this one actually made me cry because I'm going through a slight dark period in my life. My grandmother has cancer and I've just been very depressed, so I vented through this. It's a tragedy/songfic, so please don't hate me for writing it. Enjoy. **

**Song is I Dreamed a Dream from Le Mis.**

**Elliot's one little blurb during the end aren't my words so creds to whomever said that. **

**SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and friends. **

* * *

_I Dreamed a Dream_

_(Takes place in season 13) _

Olivia felt the familiar sensation of drifting off into a place where she needn't face anyone: the cruel men who employed her, their disgusting, filthy clients, the women who worked beside her only fighting for their lives on the grimy streets of New York City. She knew it could've been different, much so. She could've been happy, maybe with a husband, kids too. Shit, she might've even moved out of the city and into a nice suburban neighborhood where everyone knew each other and had barbecues every weekend. She wanted to deny that it was possible.

But denial had gotten her nowhere.

The skimpy clothes that she wore on her battered body showed the bruises like they were an invitation to add to the collection, to make her even more of a whore, to slap her around and show her who was the dominant one that could make her scream in pain. Most of the times, Olivia did scream, regardless of who she was fucking, but not out of pain or pleasure, but of complete anguish and desperation. The salty tears that would endlessly stream down her face where mistaken by the men as signs to continue pounding into her with all of their might, and they did until she bled. When they pulled themselves out of her, they said nothing. They just left the money on the table and simply closed the motel room door without a backward glance...like Elliot had.

_There was a time when men were kind_  
_When their voices were soft_  
_And their words inviting_  
_There was a time when love was blind_  
_And the world was a song_  
_And the song was exciting_  
_There was a time_  
_Then it all went wrong_

That time was when Elliot had shot Jenna, instantly claiming the life of a young teenager. Olivia knew he had done the right thing and she had assured him that as he cried into her shoulder at the hospital. Never before had Olivia, El's partner of 12 fucking years ever seen her partner sob the way he did. It was when he had started screaming, ranting on about how he couldn't handle life anymore, that he just wanted to fade away into blackness, that she suggested they go back to her apartment to talk. God, forbid someone call Huang and snitch that Elliot was having suicidal thoughts. Of course, Olivia would mention it after Elliot had calmed down and gotten his head on straight, just not now.

That was the biggest mistake she had ever made.

She had made him a soothing, hot cup of tea and sat down on the couch next to him. She had smoothed his blotched, swollen cheeks with her soft hand, making sure he knew she was there always for him. Elliot had merely looked at her, with something in his eyes, not anger, not happiness, but a certain sadness that made her heart melt. Looking back, she knew it was him making his goodbyes, deciding for the final time what was to become of him.

In that moment, that one unforgettable, beautiful, sad, moment Elliot placed his lips gently against Olivia's, murmuring softy. She should have pulled back, should've said 'stop', should've known better as not only his partner, but as his best friend. But she didn't. It was her pure selfish desire to become the closest she had ever gotten with the man she had loved for 12 long years that stopped her good intentions. She was merely thinking of herself. Olivia had let his hands wander over her body, pulling her shirt roughly over her head and caressing her breasts with a love and delicacy that no other man had ever showed her. None of it had seemed real, his hands wandering over her, his gentle thrusts, his soothing voice muttering his love in her ear.

It was only the next morning when she awoke that she realized she had made a mistake.

But it was too late. He was gone.

_I dreamed a dream in time gone by_  
_When hope was high_  
_And life worth living_  
_I dreamed that love would never die_  
_I dreamed that God would be forgiving_  
_Then I was young and unafraid_  
_And dreams were made and used and wasted_  
_There was no ransom to be paid_  
_No song unsung, no wine untasted_

The light breeze of the city swept over Olivia's spent, exhausted body. She felt the dampness of the dirty alley beneath her exposed back and smelled the weed wafting through the night as thugs and gangsters passed her by. She was surprised she hadn't been raped already and although normally she would have cowered in fear and prayed that she be protected, Olivia really didn't care anymore. She had nothing left to live for.

Olivia had already decided her future. She knew what was going to become of her, just as Elliot knew what was to become of him. She knew it wasn't wrong, not when she meant nothing to anyone anymore. Cragen, Fin, and Munch wouldn't care where she was. It was her fault Elliot was dead and they had been just as close to him as they were to her. It was betrayal.

_But the tigers come at night_  
_With their voices soft as thunder_  
_As they tear your hope apart_  
_As they turn your dream to shame_

A tear slowly slid down her cheek as she felt herself fading. It was as if she were a drawing and slowly, but surely God erased herself from the world, from existence. Little by little pieces of her past erupted in her mind, her childhood, her years at the precinct with him, the feelings she had felt so dearly. They gnawed and tore at her heart. _  
_

_He slept a summer by my side_  
_He filled my days with endless wonder_  
_He took my childhood in his stride_  
_But he was gone when autumn came_

For a moment, memories of the day she found out came flooding back to her. Sometimes they would return in sudden flashes or in full blown scenes from the past, but nonetheless, they came far to often for her to handle.

The day had been a cloudy, murky day that she would undoubtedly always remember. It had been a few days after Elliot had shot Jenna. He had been still out, taking a few days to get his emotions in check and go through an evaluation with Huang, not to mention his new found relationship with Olivia. They hadn't spoken much about, actually they hadn't spoken at all since he had been at her house that night. She had been worrying that he might have regretted it and honestly she couldn't blame him. Everything had happened so god damned fast, that she wasn't sure if she remembered all of it. Olivia wouldn't have blamed him if he wanted a knew partner after that either.

She had walked slowly into the precinct, her tired, droopy eyes the proof that she was plagued by nightmares of the shooting. When she had seen Cragen exist his office, her only thought had been that he had noticed and he was going to insist she take a few days as well, after all everyone else was. Olivia had began to contemplate running away, for the sheer hope that she could save a shred of her dignity. God, the last thing she had wanted was to explain to Cragen why she wasn't sleeping. Of course, she could always lie, but he could see right through her, like Elliot. Something about him stopped her though. His eyes were red, bloodshot. His chin was trembling. He had been crying.

Olivia had never seen Cragen cry, not once. Something had happened, but she already knew. She wanted to ask, to make it not true, for him to explain that some other close detective had gone down in a shooting, but she already fucking knew. She knew. She knew. Elliot was dead. The look in the captain's deep blue eyes explained it all.

And then she had turned and ran. She had ran away from Fin, Munch, and Cragen. She had ran away from her job, her home. She had ran away from her life, in hopes that it hadn't turned out the way it did, in hopes that she would find him wandering the streets lost and alone. What she would give to launch her arms around him, beg him never to scare her like that again. But she already knew he had taken his own life, out of guilt, out of shame, out of sheer hatred of himself.

Olivia spent weeks homeless, selling herself to other men, waiting for something to change, to make everything miraculously be okay again. That something never came. She was left alone, weak, vulnerable, and broken all because of him.

_And still I dream he'll come to me_  
_That we will live the years together_  
_But there are dreams that cannot be_  
_And there are storms we cannot weather_

A tugging sensation pulled at her heart and stomach and his voice breathed in her ear.

"Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how much you love and care for them, because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won't be able to hear you anymore." Those were the last words he had spoken to her.

She felt his lips on her forehead and his gentle singing as he lulled her to sleep. The tears poured out of her eyes as she took one last glance around at the world that had caused her so much pain and anguish.

_I had a dream my life would be_  
_So different from this hell I'm living_  
_So different now from what it seemed_  
_Now life has killed the dream I dreamed._

Olivia Benson let out a smile as she exhaled her last breath and slowly drifted away, never to wake up.

**"You who suffer because you love, love still more. To die of love, is to live by it." ― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables**


End file.
